This couch is the stuff of legends.
If you're really drunk, this couch is a time machine. Like that movie about the hot tub that was also a time machine. But this is a couch time machine.
An impotent cat rubbed against it and got a hard-on.
A Cheeto fell in between the cracks of the cushions, and when we pulled it out it was a diamond covered in Cheeto dust.
It is a green couch, three cushions wide, and one of the cushions is ripped. The cushions cannot be flipped over, so hopefully you like ripped couch cushions.
I tried taking a picture of it to post it, but in each picture the couch would not appear. It's like a ghost. It may be a haunted couch. Hopefully you like haunted couches.
The couch is in the front yard of [my address]. If you think you can handle a couch of such magnificence, stop for a moment and reevaluate yourself. After thorough meditation, if you still feel worthy, you may take it.
Just the couch is free. Anything else in the yard, like the bench and a small fountain, are not free. Both of those belong to our upstairs neighbor. We're not the best of friends so it would be mildly amusing if these things went missing, but we are not encouraging such behavior.
Monetary donations are not mandatory, but they are encouraged.
best post ive seen on the free section so far
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post. It made us laugh.
ReplyDeleteHey I read your post and had to save it to show my friends...it was so funny I nearly died laughing. Anyway, good luck finding a taker.
ReplyDeleteI am clearly unworthy of your couch and I doubt anyone in Santa Barbara is, but thank you for the most excellent posting ever on Craigslist. I will share it with everyone at work but they are losers too, so don't count on them to give your couch a home. May I also complement you on your composition and spelling. If you can do this to a furniture listing, how about writing a book?
ReplyDeleteI don't want your couch, but I loved your posts...both of them! I'm a little outraged that your first post would get flagged. It was AMAZING!! I even voted for it for "Best of Craigslist"
ReplyDeletehahahaha i have a friend in cali and he told me about this and i'm over here in az... hahahahaha effing hilarious. i'd be your friend
ReplyDelete-Amanda, AZ